An Outlook Into Retirement. (6/7/24)

When I'm joyful, I write.

When I'm sad, I write.

When I rant, I write.

When I lament, I write.

When I feel ambivalent, I also write....like this one below:

( it's therapeutic to me.)

******

After enduring the relentless stress and soul-crushing monotony of a work routine that spans 365 days a year for a staggering 24 years, without a single day off for rest, medical check-ups, dental attention, attending courses, talks, seminars, or skills upgrading programs, or any meaningful social interactions with friends let alone a simple escape to Johor Bahru for a day trip or more enviously the annual Church Camp or whatever church activities like everyone else. Even a happy meal with family is disruptive & happen very often

In the absence of traditional avenues for relief, I have turned to creative outlets during the quietness of the night such as writing stories, crafting poems, injecting humor into the mundane, and exploring the culinary arts through cooking and baking to stave off the pervasive boredom and pent-up energy that accompany such a grueling existence.

Amidst this backdrop of perpetual toil and isolation, a poignant question emerges: Is it not high time to break free from the shackles of this oppressive work routine? Despite the temporary reprieve offered by my own creative pursuits, and some occasional brief moments playing with my two granddaughters, the underlying issues of chronic stress, professional stagnation, and personal deprivation persist, casting a shadow over any fleeting moments of solace found in artistic expression.

In confronting the need for change, it becomes imperative to confront the toll exacted by years of relentless labour and neglect of a holistic well-being. While the creative endeavors serve as a coping mechanism, they cannot serve as a panacea for the absence of rest, rejuvenation, genuine human connection and spiritual growth essential for a fulfilling life like many of my friends, relatives and everyone else.

Thus, the moment of consideration may have arrived to reevaluate priorities, reclaim autonomy over my existence, and embark on a journey towards a more balanced and enriching future. 

By recognising the signs of burnout which i already knew actually,, honoring the intrinsic need for self-care and personal growth, and also summoning the courage to embrace change, I hope to  chart a path towards liberation from the confines of an oppressive and stagnant routine, towards a brighter horizon where fulfillment and well-being await.

While others embark on exotic vacations with their spouses, families, and friends, akin to an annual pilgrimage, my heart's desire is far simpler and yet profoundly meaningful, I think. I yearn to stroll hand in hand with my 38 years old wife......I mean, my wife of 38 years – a testament to enduring love and shared moments – along the vibrant streets of Penang or Ipoh, immersing ourselves in the tantalising array of local cuisines & places that everyone is talking about. In this idyllic vision, the weight of work and worries fades into insignificance, allowing us to savor each moment without the burden of responsibilities.

This modest dream, has etched into my bucket list, represents a cherished aspiration that transcends material pursuits or grand adventures. It embodies the essence of intimacy, companionship, and shared joy that only decades of companionship can cultivate. In my dream, I envisioned that we navigate the bustling streets, sampling delectable dishes and reveling in each other's company, time seems to stand still, encapsulating a lifetime of love and devotion in a single, precious experience.

In this reverie, the simple act of walking side by side with my beloved wife amidst the culinary delights of Penang or Ipoh becomes a profound expression of gratitude for the journey we have shared and the moments we continue to cherish. It is a testament to the enduring bond forged through trials and triumphs, a reminder that true fulfillment lies not in grand gestures but in the quiet beauty of everyday moments spent in the company of a cherished partner.

As I close my eyes and envision this dream taking shape with a glimmer of hope. I am filled with a sense of tranquility and contentment, knowing that some treasures in life are often found in the warmth of a loving hand to hold and the flavor of a shared meal savored in each other's presence without the incessant ringing of the phone or text demanding your attention. 

This, indeed, is my simple yet profound bucket list dream – a testament to a lifetime of love, laughter, and unwavering companionship that transcends the constraints of time and space.

3 score years (60) and ten, thus says the Bible that the lifespan of men shall be.

Hence, for me, that's only 6 yrs away.

Now I question myself, how? and when?

Until today.....i met  an old friend, Wilson, from Truth BP Church. As we caught up, Wilson shared with me a profound experience and several verses that altered the course of his retirement years some years back. He confided how he once shared a similar mindset to my own, God's intervention transformed his outlook. Through the guidance of God's word, Wilson's advice made me reconsider my own beliefs and embrace the possibility of a more spiritually enriched retirement.

The verses he shared prior to retirement.

Acts 9: 6:  And he trembling and astonished said, Lord, what wilt thou have me to do? And the Lord said unto him, Arise, and go into the city, and it shall be told thee what thou must do.

Psa 32:8:  I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.

Eph 5:15-17

15 See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,

16 Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.

17 Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.